Like all humans-now in the post-Bush economy more than ever (thanks, George!)- “you spend a significant amount of time thinking about money: Having enough. Not having enough. How much to spend? How much to save? Debt. The economy. Your financial present. Your financial future.

You wonder and worry (that little voice inside is almost certain) that you’ve paid fees that you don’t understand-”that you didn’t have to pay-when you bought your house or your car, or monthly to your cell phone/cable/internet providers.

You pick your investment (retirement and otherwise) vehicles based on the advice of your friend or your human resources department or your broker, without doing any research yourself. Self-directed IRA? The very words strike terror. So you leave the choices and results in the hands of others.

You know that you should be earning more for the work you do-or you feel called to do work that will allow you to earn more as well as be more fulfilling-and you feel stymied because you don’t know how to make this happen. Like many you may be stuck in an underearning pattern that’s based on fear (which-no surprise, right?-is what’s driving all these misery-making behaviors.

We all have these. Rich or poor. Employed or not employed.

My long study of this, over twenty years of-oh, no biggie-changing every single thing I think and do about and with money, has taught me that fear of money is based on two equally nasty mindsets (insert drum roll here): Deprivation and Entitlement. Deprivation’s dictionary definition is “loss or absence of something needed.” The deprivation voice says, on a continual loop, “I don’t have enough. No matter how much I have it’s not enough. If I use or spend what I have I won’t be able to replace it. I can’t get or earn enough to meet my needs.” The other half, entitlement, is defined as “claim or permission or privilege.” The entitlement voice says “I need to be cared for. I have to find someone to take care of me. This person should give me more because I’m in need (preferably, without me having to ask!). I’ll be okay when I get the raise/the better job/win the lottery.” (See how they work together? Brilliant. Insidious.)

Wait. Stop. Step away from the self-pity/guilt. Tempting as it might be. How useful are self-pity and guilt? Of course you’ve played a big part in your own financial dysfunction. So what? We all do. Let’s accept a premise or two: if you live in America or anywhere in the developed world, you find that you and most everyone you know are trained from birth in behaviors and cultural myths that set the stage to grow up wanting someone, anyone, to take care of us so we don’t have to do so ourselves.

Here are some cultural myths that we many of us will recognize-some of us from our earliest memories:

• Eat everything on your plate; people are starving in India/China/Vietnam/Brooklyn
• Money doesn’t grow on trees
• Save for a rainy day-but even in a torrential storm, try not to use your savings
• Loss of money equals loss of power and prestige
• Money shouldn’t come easily; you should have to work hard to earn it
• There isn’t enough to go around; hoard your treasure
• It’s unfair that some people make so much money
• It’s bad and selfish to enjoy the money you have

There are so many more: Myths and beliefs about work. Myths about how working hard is essential to be a useful and productive member of society. Myths about how work has to come before fun. Beliefs about how long it takes to be successful. Beliefs about how we are obliged to manage our money.

All of these beliefs have grown out of fear of lack. And a cellular commitment to operating from that fear. Hoarding. Secrecy. Manipulations. Lies. All of these are part of the dance that we are driven to dance when we are driven by fear.

I’m guessing you can easily see how hoarding, secrecy, manipulations and lies drive us in areas other than money. Relationships. Family. Self-care. The good news is that the practices we put in place to heal and transform our money lives will work for us in any other aspect of our lives that call to us for change.

Lack breeds lack. And lack needs lack to survive. Guess what?-”there’s good news. The opposite is just as true. When we step away from lack and fear and into (one tiny footstep is all it takes to start) faith and generosity, the hold Lack has on us starts to crumble.

Every moment of faith breeds more faith. Generosity breeds generosity. One of the first things I coach clients to do-right after building the habit of tracking all money in and out (getting clarity is essential)-is in developing a generosity practice. Everything from handing out dollar bills to street people to donating to causes that are meaningful to you to tithing at your place of worship. I have found this to be true: When our hands are open-giving-we are open to the abundance of the universe. (When our hands are grasped tight-hoarding-we are blocked to the flow of goodness.)

Give. Trust. Smile. Breathe and breathe again. Create a support system of trusted friends who also are determined to be in the flow of abundance. Share of your time, treasure and talents. Eat well, rest well, play well. Give thanks for your blessings. Enjoy this moment and you will likely enjoy the next one.

Blessed be.